Thursday, February 26, 2009

God Did It All

Lessons from Life, Thursday, February 26, 2009

God Did It All

“5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act.”
~Ps 37:5 ESV (English Standard Version)~

These past couple weeks I’ve had basically no money. Ok, this past week I had the 21¢ in my checking account and $5 in my wallet. Did I do everything the way God would have wanted me to do it? No. In fact, one night I emptied out my penny jar to buy candy – not just one piece or bar, but several, since an urge overcome me that I just needed something to fill a space that felt empty. I wasn’t trusting God at that point, only my stomach or emotions. Maybe somewhere back in a dark recessed corner of my mind I trusted God, but not totally.

Today I received the deposit in my checking account from the tutoring company for which I work. Yes, it feels good to have money to use again. I made it through this time calmer than I’ve ever been. This has never happened before. Actually, I didn’t do anything to be calmer, God did it all. What an admission I’ve just made. Even though I had some doubt, Jesus still helped through this time. INCREDIBLE!

My gratitude today is that the deposit went through so I have money; I can buy my meditation, next month’s bus pass, and some food tonight; I have a student to tutor tonight; and (most of all) Jesus keeps His watch over me.

In His Caring Love, Michelle

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Purpose

Lessons from Life, Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Purpose

“God works through different people in different ways, but it is the same God who achieves his purpose through them all.” ~I Cor. 12:6 Ph – New Testament in Modern English by .J. B. Phillips~

I read this passage this morning after finally getting back to reading Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life. Many times in my life, I’ve wondered what my purpose was on this earth. Through reading this book, I’m learning. There are talents that I don’t have. I mean, I’m not famous or rich, sing like a frog, don’t play a musical instrument (air guitar and finger drums might count), am about as athletic as a moose, etc, etc, etc… These skills are not the ones for which the Lord will use me. They belong to someone else.

But I do have talent. I am creative and can make words do what I want by creating photographs with them – my poetry. I’m learning how to take interesting photographs with my camera. Each day I write about what lessons life teaches me. I have an excellent mind, which can think of what I will write everyday after the lesson becomes evident. My emotional disability serves my purpose, since I relate to those having difficulties. My financial challenges are very useful – so many in this country are struggling with this right now. In fact – nothing that’s happened in my life is wasted. God uses every bit of it.
How cool is that? Very cool!

My gratitude today is that I have a use for the Lord and others; Sasha is sitting by me as I write this lesson; it’s a beautiful, sunny day with white, wispy clouds dotting a blue sky; and I have plans to go to Santa Anita Racetrack with a friend on Friday. I also have gratitude that by rescheduling my tutoring students, I will not go over the amount SSDI allows me to earn when working, and by taking this week off, I’ve accomplished tasks I need to do.

In the Light of the Son, Michelle Rose

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Being Followed Around

Lessons from Life, Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Being Followed Around

“1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. 2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 3 though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Selah 4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. 5 God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.” ~Ps 46:1-5 NIV~

Sasha, my cat, follows me everyplace. I know for sure this is what Jesus does. Just as Sasha assigns herself my guardian and companion, God is within me protecting me, too. Verse 5 of Psalm 46 uses the word “her” and “she,” whereas other versions use the word “city.” I may not be a whole city, but I am a “receptacle” where Jesus dwells. Maybe Jesus is using Sasha as a physical representation, reminding me that He will never leave me.

Today when I logged on to WordChimes (Quentin Clingerman’s wonderful Christian poetry site), I had a message from Ruth, one of my readers. Her message was one of support and encouragement. The last four lines of her message said this: “God is generous. God is glorious. God is gracious. Blessed be His Holy Name.” Ruth’s message to me was a response to how I felt yesterday. Thank you Ruth; this put me back on track.

My gratitude today is that Jesus loves me – yes, He does! I have gratitude for the time to accomplish writing and other tasks I’ve been too busy to do and for the willingness to do them. In addition, I am also grateful that my landlord, Jun, is continuing to work on the downstairs apartment, so I can move into it soon.

In the Son-Light, Michelle Rose

Sometimes I Wonder…

Lessons from Life, Monday, February 23, 2009

Sometimes I Wonder…

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me." ~Erma Bombeck~

This morning started out beautifully. I put on some Sade and while listening to her sing “No Ordinary Love,” I prepared breakfast. While I was doing the dishes before breakfast (from the previous night), I daydreamed about how I wanted to decorate my apartment downstairs when I finally moved into it (it’s still in various stages of construction). When my breakfast was cooked I ate it as I read my email.

If I had shut the computer off when I finished breakfast, the day might have gone better – no it wasn’t a terrible day – jus wasted. Plus the fact, I didn’t eat nutritiously. I had several other quotes picked out, but when I saw this one by Erma Bombeck, it was like a 2 x 4. Eating and wasting time are big problems for me. I didn’t get much done today. Yeah, now am experiencing despair. The food is a major problem for me – very major. I’m not sure what kind of help to seek.

I do not normally do this in my lessons, but I’m asking those of you who read this and pray, to pray for me about this. I’m having a world of trouble giving up the eating which is killing me.

Today, I’m grateful that Sasha has been by my side the whole day, that God loves me even though I have trouble with my eating, that this day is almost over and I can start again tomorrow to attempt to do better with my eating.

In Jesus’ Incredible Love, Michelle

Dealing with the Pain

Lessons from Life, Sunday, February 22, 2009

Dealing with the Pain

“The greatest wealth is health.” ~Virgil~

Thursday, when I substituted at one of the high schools, I tripped and landed on both my knees on a carpeted floor. I was lucky, since I could have crashed headfirst into a glass display case a couple feet away. For a day or two after I fell, my knees did not hurt, but now, I’m feeling pain.

Because I am on SSDI (Disability), I can only make a certain amount every month over what I receive from the government. I’m happy to be able to make this extra amount, but most of the time it isn’t enough to cover my expenses.

Now that I’m older – ok, I’m not that old ;-D – my health is still good, but I have physical problems. So many times, I think about what I once was able to do and cannot do any more. So, I will take measures to reduce the pain and trust that God will heal what I cannot.

I’m grateful that I’m alive – whether I am in pain or not. I’m grateful that Sasha has been sticking by my side and keeping me company.

In the care of the Great Physician, Michelle Rose

Getting Back to What Stopped Me from Dying

Lessons from Life, Saturday, February 21, 2009

Getting Back to What Stopped Me from Dying

“Saints are sinners who kept on going.” ~Robert Louis Stevenson~

“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” ~Buddhist Saying~

“I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.” ~Author Unknown~

“Keep on going, and the chances are that you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I never heard of anyone ever stumbling on something sitting down.” ~Charles F. Kettering~

“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

“Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.” ~Robert Schuller~

All quotes from www.quotegarden.com

Every one of these quotes inspired me tonight to write Saturday’s Lessons from Life. I went with a friend to an AA meeting last night. It was a while since attending a 12 step meeting. The topic was gratitude and if I had not had the perseverence (the topic of these quotes) I would not be the person I am today. Getting back to what stopped me from dying - the meetings – I heard people who are still struggling with their sobriety.

With the help of God and the willingness to go one day at a time without a drink or drug, I’ve become a me I never expected to be. Somehow, deep in my mind, I might have wanted to be like I am now, though.

My gratitude today is being alive, sober, and loved by Jesus and my friends. WOW! that’s a whole boatload to be grateful about!

Under His Wings, Michelle Rose

Breathing Space

Lessons from Life, Friday, February 20, 2009

Breathing Space

Today, although I prepared for work, I was hoping not to receive a call from LAUSD, since I needed time to catch up on email, Lessons from Life, and paperwork I need to finish and send out as soon as possible. If I don’t receive a call, then I don’t have to waste calling in an unavailable day, as I only get 10 days during a school year (with multiple days up to 3 months counting as one day).

So far, I’ve caught up on some email, now I have to start working on the forms I want to send out by tomorrow, in addition to preparing a lesson for my student tonight, which is partially done.

Here are two Irish blessings that cheered me on my way to do other things:

A sunbeam to warm you,
A moonbeam to charm you,
A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.

May you always have work for your hands to do.
May your pockets hold always a coin or two.
May the sun shine bright on your windowpane.
May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend always be near you.
And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

My gratitude today is the sun on my face, my cat by my side, and the love of God in every aspect of my life.

Living in the Son-shine, Michelle Rose

Music Fills My Being

Lessons from Life, Thursday, February 19, 2009

Music Fills My Being

I love substituting for music classes. That’s what I did today. Most of the classes did not play their instruments, but watched movies. In the 6th period class 7 students were practicing for a concert. The instruments they played were marimba, vibes, or the other kind like that instrument (which I can’t remember now). The music was loud but quite beautiful. For that class I didn’t have to do anything but take attendance.

Here’s a site that Gillena Cox sent me. Between the music and the shots from the satellite, it’s totally breathtaking. When I looked at the slideshow and listened to the music, they filled me with wonder and relaxed me.
http://www.frontiermultimedia.com/the-good-earth.htm

My gratitude today is having work, a God who loves me unconditionally, discovering another way (shorter and less time) to Garfield HS, and taking time to relax after a long day rather than getting on the computer.

In Jesus’ Unconditional Love, Michelle Rose
Lessons from Life, Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Catching Up

I worked Wednesday and by the time I arrived home, I had to begin dinner and preparing for the next day – lunch, food, and clothes. This may not appear to be a daunting task, but if I have to cook a meal for the next day, plus make dinner, it can be time consuming.

Today’s lesson is from a quote that I read in Good Things, which reminded me of another quote:

"I expect to pass through life but once. If, therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do for any fellow being, let me do it now... as I shall not pass this way again." ~ William Penn, British religious leader (1644-1718)~

This I do my best to accomplish all the time.

My gratitude today is that I worked, that I learned something about math in the class where I substituted (even if most of the students didn’t), and that God is always watching over me.

In Christ’s Everlasting Love, Michelle Rose

Making Difficult Decisions Which Hurt for a Very Long Time

Lessons from Life, Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Making Difficult Decisions Which Hurt for a Very Long Time

Have you ever been hurt and the place tries to heal a bit, and you just pull the scar off of it over and over again. ~Rosa Parks

God is closest to those with broken hearts. ~Jewish Saying

God can heal a broken heart, but He has to have all the pieces. ~Author Unknown

All quotes from www.quotegarden.com

Today I reread a poem I had written when I made an extremely difficult and painful decision. In reading it, I remembered all kinds of other hurts associated with the same type of thing. The situation was that I returned a cat to the Humane Society that I adopted. He exhibited feral behavior, so they would have euthanized him. When I had him, he would be sweet one minute and attacking Sasha or me the next. I always wished there was more I could have done for him, since I loved him intensely. I made the decision to euthanize him, so I would receive his ashes from a private cremation. As I worked through this again today, other difficult but necessary decisions came to mind. These decisions tend to haunt me for quite a long time. In the process of being hurt by them, I know that the Lord is there to hold me in His arms and comfort me. No one can comfort the way Jesus can. I think it is His specialty.
Below is the poem.

Today I Crossed…
10/2/07

~in memory of my sweet Gandalf~

the Rainbow Bridge.
The first step was scary,
but then Monique was there,
walking with me.

Along the way, Mommy’s
many other cats and guinea pigs,
especially Tiger, guided my
path, since they knew the way.
Even Brownie, Mommy’s rat,
said hello to me and snuggled
up against me.

At the end of the bridge,
Tana and Squirt were there
to greet me. They heard I
was coming and had prepared
me a dish of my favorite
food – chicken and lobster.

I miss you Mommy. Please
tell Sasha I miss her, too,
and never meant to be rough
with her. I only wanted to play.

Well, I have to go, Prudence
is calling me to have a game
of catch with her new ball. She’s
been here the longest, and will
introduce me to all my new
playmates.

Today I’m grateful for the tears I can shed to cleanse me from holding the hurt inside and that I had so many people and pets in my life (ones who have crossed the Rainbow Bridge) for the amount of time God lent them to me. I am blessed that I was able to give Gandalf one more year of life that he might not have had.

In the Comfort of Jesus’ Arms, Michelle Rose

OH! Patience

Lessons from Life, Monday, February 16, 2009

OH Patience!

“The Lord is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger and of great mercy.” ~Psalm 148:5 KJV~

This passage was in a Bible lesson I read today. There are times when I am quite compliant to what God and humans want me to do – following instruction and direction. Other times, I just want to wander down my own path, listening to my own voice.

Actually, there’s nothing wrong with that – it’s part of freedom – but I can’t always do that and keep a job, remain with my friends, or live in my apartment. I didn’t always want to be in the kind of work I’m currently doing. I thought I wanted to work with animals. In a Dept. of Rehabilitation workshop many years ago, one of the leaders had me help some of the other people. He noticed how patient I was with these people, who were quite a bit slower and not able to comprehend as well what was going on. It was this comment that made me change my major from Veterinary Technology to English and decide to work toward my Bachelor’s Degree.

I have come a long way from being a person locked in depression who could not even get up to take care of myself, although I did take care of my cats. When I look back on the road I’ve traveled, it was a difficult one, filled with some unpleasant experiences. Those days are over now and I have become a person I never expected to be, but the Lord knew and He was patient with me.

When I started writing this lesson tonight, I had no idea what I would write. I have become a patient person, although I wasn’t always one. It’s from having God and people be patient with me that I learned. Often times when I substitute in a classroom, several things will be going on at once. Yet, I’ve seen myself become very patient with not only myself and be able to take a breathe and handle it all, but be patient with the students in the class where I am substituting. That’s incredible!

My gratitude today is that the pain from having my bridge fall off is over – the procedure to put it back on was extremely painful; that I made it home before the rain fell harder, and that I made the soup I decided to cook. Also, that my God loves me without exception.

In His Never-ending Love, Michelle Rose

Unaccomplished Days

Lessons from Life, Sunday, February 15 2009

Unaccomplished Days

El tiempo da buen consejo. ~Proverb (The weather is good advice)

The Future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is. ~C.S. Lewis

I had all kinds of plans for Sunday. But as usual, many times when I get on the computer, I become sidetracked. That is what happened today. I became involved in a massive project, which at the end, only served to frustrate me because it didn’t work out. I learned a lesson – do what I’ve planned, then things will work out better. Not a great big lesson, but I often become sidetracked and spend time doing other things.

Would I have felt better if I’d done what I planned – possibly – but then I might not have learned a lesson. My God teaches me these lessons, often with a bit of humor.

My gratitude today was having a day of rest.

In His Love, Michelle Rose

All Kinds of Love

Lessons from Life, Saturday, February 14, 2009 – Valentine’s Day

All Kinds of Love

“May the peace and the love of Christ be upon you because The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.” ~From an essay I received about women, from Dale Heath~

“A wise lover values not so much the gift of the lover as the love of the giver.” ~Thomas à Kempis~

“When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now.” ~C. S. Lewis~

“Joy is love exalted; peace in love in repose; long-suffering is love enduring; gentleness is love in society; goodness is love in action; faith is love on the battlefield; meekness is love in school; and temperance is love in training.” ~D. L. Moody~

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son…” ~John 3:16 NIV~

God created all kinds of love for us: between husbands and wives; boyfriends and girlfriends, friends, for pets, and most of all for Him.

In Christ’s Everlasting Love, Michelle

Preparation Counts

Lessons from Life for Thursday, 2/12/09 and Friday, 2/13/09

Preparation Counts

These lessons are short and combined. Yesterday, I did not have the time to write a lesson, since I was preparing everything in case I received a call today (Fri) from the school district.

Thursday, I worked for a new high school, Franklin. The classes I had behaved fairly well, although they were a bit challenging. The classes were science, so I did my best to keep them occupied by either asking them questions about animals, or having them tell a fact they knew about animals after they completed their assignment. After school, Nadine, my student’s mother picked me up to take me to the library. I both substitute teach and tutor. So when I finally arrived home after tutoring and doing some shopping, I was tired and my back hurt, but I still took the time to prepare for a call from LAUSD today.

That preparation paid off, as I received a call from the district and it was for my favorite high school, Lincoln. Although I did not wake up early all my preparations allowed me to arrive at the school before the end of first period. Except for the class I covered 6th period, the other teacher’s class was quite relaxing as they watched dvds for the first 4 periods. The teacher allowed the last period class to play their instruments, as it was a music class. This class took more management, since not too many of the students had the books they were supposed to have. I called the teacher and he helped me. Then the students, those with instruments, played 3 songs. I suppose they were marches.

Tonight, I didn’t make it to my tutoring student, but came home and figured out if I could pay the renewal for my credential, so that I can continue working. Doing it left me quite broke, but I with some help and ingenuity, I will make it until payday on the 26th.

My gratitude is that while things get challenging, I know God is watching over me, Sasha met me at the bottom of the steps and greeted me with her cute arched tail cute look, and tonight, I can relax after I finish these lessons.

In Christ’s Love and Protection, Michelle

An Epiphany of Answers and Promises

Lessons from Life, Wednesday, February 11, 2009

An Epiphany of Answers and Promises

“…as I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will not fail you or forsake you. Be of good courage…” ~Joshua 1:5, 6~ (Confirmation text from June 2, 1963)

“And straightaway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou my unbelief.” ~Mark 9:24 KJV~

Today, I had another kitchen revelation – meaning the thought for today’s lesson from God to me came to me while I was working in my kitchen.

Last night, when I finally went to bed, I was nearly asleep when the thundering thoughts (woke me up) of “WHY??? WHY God is all this happening to me? WHY have I lost pets I loved? WHY am I still wandering is this Valley of Debt? WHY is my life not moving forward into abundance the way I’m picturing it?? WHY am I not getting the work I need to help me pay the bills?” A ginormous amount of WHYs.

The Lord in His wisdom did not answer me, but gave me the blessing of restful sleep. Instead, His answers came this morning when I had a clear mind and the willingness to listen to Him. Last night, I would not have heard or accepted the answers

“I’m giving you time to look for other work. I’m allowing you time to find the answers you need to find work now. I want you to think in terms of rainbow colors instead of just black and white. I want you to realize that no matter what happens, I AM always with you. I promised you I would never leave you. I promised I would always be with you. I promised I would always guide you. I promised I would always love you, and I do.”

Here is a beautiful video I watched this morning, called “The Names of Jesus.”

http://www.dayspring.com/movies/view.asp?moviename=names.swf

I’m grateful today for God’s answers, for the student I have to tutor tonight; for getting a nice agent when I called the district office’s sub unit; for my Saviour who loves me, even when I’m completely unlovable, and for the deposit from my paycheck in my checking account to pay bills.

Am I in a completely happy mood right now – it takes me awhile, but I’m getting there. I know I’m in a better mood than yesterday.

In Christ’s Care and Love, Michelle Rose

Lost in the Shadow of the Valley of the Debt

Lessons from Life, Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Today's Lessons from Life is the fact that Michelle has been lost in the Valley of the Shadow of Debt longer than Moses was lost in the Sinai Desert. Michelle thinks she should rename herself Moses, or some female derivative thereof. Sorry, I just don't feel bright and cheery tonight, only dark and twisty. Even my deposit from the tutoring company I work for didn't appear in my checking, so I can't even pay my bills.

I am grateful for many things, but at this moment I can't name any specifically.

Michelle Rose

Mustard Seeds and Problems

Lessons from Life, Monday, February 09, 2009

Mustard Seeds and Problems

“Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune; but great minds rise above them.” ~ from Positive Affirmations by Marla Sloane, PhD~

“Even those with nothing to give can give encouragement.” ~A quote from Reminisce Magazine, from Everett Christian’s Good Things~


Today was an amazing day and this lesson is a bit long, so bear with me. I didn’t accomplish much of what I had planned, but I did accomplish some of what I needed to do. Also, I learned lessons from some very unexpected sources and people. They will make up my lesson today.

First, I received an email from Katherine Norland, a very encouraging one, plus I visited a very special website. She liked the quotes I picked comparing rain to tears and told me she’d forwarded them to one of her friends. Katherine also sent me this poem she wrote and maybe some of you can relate to it, if you’ve had dark times in your life or are having them now. She is a special poet I’ve come to know through email and meeting her once.

Tears of Rain

Water drips into a receptacle from yesterday’s rain;
The pool moves and sun reflects, it dances on the window pane.
And as I try to speak to God it draws my attention away;
As if it has its own message, something it wants to say.

It’s telling me there is hope as it sashays cheerfully;
Though dark clouds produce rain that comes down tearfully.
It is for a purpose, water brings life to all the living;
The multi-colored roses thrive in the water I was giving.

I not only did the Lord’s work, I watered my dreams with tears;
But only for a short season did I stay mourning with my peers.
I know there is a time to move on, and put the ash aside;
To anoint my head with oil, under sackcloth no longer hide.

For how can one be a pillar of strength to help others through their pain;
If they never leave that place covered in dark clouds and tears of rain.

Katherine Norland © 12-19-07 All Rights Reserved

Here is an extraordinary website on www.myspace.com about a tough little tyke with an overwhelming will to life – Timothy John Norland. Here is his website: www.myspace.com/timothyjohnnorland.

In addition, when I read Everett Christian’s Good Things from yesterday, one line of the verse jumped out at me and encouraged me – “5 For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation.” ~Psalm 100: 5(New Living Translation)~

If you haven’t read Everett’s Good Things and want to, let me know and I will forward your email address to him.

Another lesson I learned today is from a December 30th Nan’s Calendar, which I printed and have on my wall by my computer (another daily spiritual treat). Two lines jumped out at me and grabbed me – “Help us to understand we don’t have to worry or be anxious about anything. We simply have to trust you.” Email me if you’d like to receive Nan’s Calendar.

So, you see, today I received what I needed for that mustard seed of faith. For those of you who don’t know what a mustard plant looks like (I didn’t), here’s a link with photos - http://www.fotosearch.com/photos-images/mustard-plant.html

My gratitude includes being introduced to a little guy who doesn’t realize how much he helped me. If Timothy John had the will to live, then I have the courage to go through what I am. I’m grateful for Katherine Norland, her husband, Timothy John Norland, Nan Forehand, and Everett Christian being in my life.

In the company of earthly angels, Michelle Rose

Laying Everything at the Foot of the Cross

Lessons from Life, Sunday, February 08, 2009

Laying Everything at the Foot of the Cross

Financially, my back is against the wall. I keep thinking that I’ve reached a bottom in this situation, and then it becomes worse. I know Jesus is watching over me and I’ve always heard the saying, “God won’t give you any more than you can handle.” Well, this situation has been spiraling out of control for so long now that I can’t remember anything different. And it’s not becoming any better. For months now, I’ve been doing what I can to raise $150 to file bankruptcy so I don’t get sued by 3 companies – 2 accounts with Bank of America, 1 account with Chase Bank, and 1 account with a company called Care Credit, and I can’t do it. They don’t total millions, but less than $10K.

The regular bills and other expenses I have are the following: (and I know in comparison to many others, these are quite small, but for one person on disability and working 2 jobs, where I don’t get much work, these feel like a tsunami)

I didn’t detail (deleted to post online) this all out to complain or get sympathy from anyone. I needed to see it for myself in black and white. I didn’t even include in this food, pet food, and non-food costs. After I took a shower and was getting dressed to buy some food I needed, I just said out loud, that I needed to lay all these expenses, income, and the resolution at the Foot of the Cross. I kept repeating it. I know deep in my heart, this is where the answers and solutions will come from. On my own, I’m dealing with DWP, the Gas Co, AT&T and I’m doing what I can to get help from the additional companies that the first two utilities provide. This has not been one of my easier days.

My gratitude today is that I have the strong feeling Jesus is watching over me and will not let any of my utilities be turned off.

I pray that in a very short amount of time, my landlord finishes the apartment downstairs so that I can move there and pay less rent and utilities.

In the depth of my faith and in His Love, Michelle Rose

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Lessons from Life

Lessons from Life, Saturday, February 07, 2009 - Rain & Tears

“Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water.” ~Antoine Rivarol~

“Tears are God’s gift to us. Our holy water. They heal us as they flow.” ~Rita Schiano, Sweet Bitter Love, 1997, published by The Reed Edwards Company~

“What soap is for the body, tears are for the soul.” ~Jewish Proverb~

All quotes are from www.quotegarden.com

I heard a sound a little while ago and looked outside; it’s raining. It’s been raining the last 3 days here in SoCal. That’s fine, since my plants are getting a good watering and so is our parched area. This morning I read a poem on WordChimes and my tears started to flow. Afterwards, I felt emotionally better, but physically, I’ve been having a challenging time.

These three quotes are incredible, because I love to compare globally what happens to me on a personal level. Comparing my experiences to nature brings me closer to the God who created me. Just as rain is to the earth, so are tears are to my spirit. I can’t remember the number of times I’ve had a good cry, coming from deep inside me (way down in my gut) only to feel intensely refreshed after it. Are my problems all solved – nope, but for now my tears don’t have to flow; God is with me. Somehow I will walk through the financial mess I’m in. Then my tears will be those of joy.

My gratitude today is that even though I felt a bit sick, I didn’t stay home, which helped my spirits rise. Also, Nan Forehand, one of the women who reads this daily journey, gave me a new name – Michelle Rose – so I will be signing with this name from now on. I’m grateful for this beautiful new name. As usual, I’m grateful that Sasha is right by my side as I work on my computer. Another bit of gratitude – I put my litter scoop outside to be cleaned by the rain. ;-)

In Jesus’ Never-Ending Love, Michelle Rose

Friday, February 6, 2009

One Blown Fuse!

Lessons from Life, Friday, February 6, 2009

One Blown Fuse!

“Be who you are and be that well.”

“Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections.”

Have patience with all things, but first of all with yourself.”

All quotes by St. Francis de Sales, Bishop of Geneva, Roman Catholic Saint, and Patron Saint of the Deaf.

I took these quotes down earlier today when I was in a slightly better mood. I’m not there now. I’m suddenly not sure who I am, so I’m not sure how well I can do it. I am not sure how much courage I have with my imperfections, which, to me, appear glaring right now. And, I’ve lost patience – especially after spending around 2 hours on the phone dealing with ATT’s automatic system and paying what I could of my bill.

That was what helped blow the fuse. I was supposed to be at a poetry reading tonight, but I really didn’t feel in the mood to be around people. I’m hate my life the way it is – always being broke and never getting enough work.

I WANT MORE! I want to be able to do other things in my life besides buy groceries and go for cheap dinners. Whoopee! I know the Lord loves me and that a better life waits for me in heaven beside my Saviour. But, I wish I would either have some kind of a better life now or that God would take me to heaven so I could have that better life.

Ok, every so often I don’t feel all cheery and happy – I get into a bad mood. Yeah, I’m human. I’m not sure what this lesson teaches me, but I hope I feel in a better frame of mind soon. I know the Lord is walking me through this.

I’m grateful for my life as it is, even though I don’t appear to be so. I’m also very grateful for Sasha, who helps lower my blood pressure, etc.

In Christ’s Love, Michelle

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Ups and Downs

Lessons from Life, Thursday, February 05, 2009

Ups and Downs

I woke up this morning feeling a bit down. That lasted until the mail came and my paycheck was there from LAUSD for the two days I worked last month. Money makes me feel this way, but it’s a temporary “high.” For me, when I keep my eyes on Jesus, I don’t get a “high,” but have the continuous assurance that I’m loved, watched over, and have Someone to walk beside me in any situation.

I deposited my paycheck in the bank, paid some bills, and did some shopping. With the balance of my bank account going down again, so should my feelings. But, I’ve learned to deposit all my troubles and cares at the foot of the Cross, then I feel safe.

My gratitude is for my Saviour always watching over me, that I bought all kinds of healthy food at Nature Mart Bulk Bin, and that even though it was raining, (actually pouring and I got somewhat wet) the rain has stopped by the time I returned to Hollywood from Eagle Rock.

In Jesus’ Love and Power, Michelle

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

February 4, 2009

Lessons from Life, Wednesday, February 04, 2009

I Know I Can

“He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche~

Today I had to call my student’s mother, who speaks mostly Spanish. My Spanish is rusty and when I looked up the verbs I wanted to translate in my 501 Spanish Verbs book, I couldn’t find them. I was tempted to call my coordinator and have him call the mother and give her the message. I didn’t do that, but did an online translation, which is usually not exact, but I remember enough Spanish to know most of the words in it. I called her and relayed the message – I did it on my own. Well, I had help from God as far as the motivation.

This quote means quite a bit to me. In the past months since I began writing Lessons from Life, I stood up to challenges; I walked through overwhelming stress; I ran to the Lord in time of need; I climbed into His lap when I felt insecure; I danced with joy when I overcame a challenge or had a victory, and I flew with the freedom that being God’s child gives me. This qualifies as my gratitude for today.

February 3, 2009

Lessons from Life, Tuesday, February 3, 2009

“You get the best out of others when you get the best out of yourself.” ~Harvey S. Firestone, founder of Firestone Rubber & Tire Co.~

I received my SSDI deposit today and most of it went to pay my rent. As I was waiting for the bus, I looked up and saw the sun and its corona – so beautiful that it later sparked a poem. Beneath the sun, I saw a woman talking to a homeless man. I only had 2 dollar bills in my wallet, but I gave them to the man. I, who don’t have much, have so much more than some people. I wonder what is my best and how can I help those who have less than I do.

Last night on the way home from the dentist’s office, the people from one of the area churches were standing by the entrance to the RedLine (subway station) handing out fliers for their church and talking to people about Jesus. They were doing their best.

My best that night was to come home and rest, since I was experiencing quite a bit of pain, which might or might not be from the cholesterol meds I began taking again.

My gratitude today is the poem I wrote from what I observed today, that the Lord is watching over me, and that my rent is paid.