Uselessness

Uselessness
May 10, 2011

11 My days are past, my purposes are broken off, even the thoughts of my heart. 12 They change the night into day: the light is short because of darkness. Job 17:11-12 KJV

“No one is too messed up to be used by Him: He specializes in taking broken people and making them whole, Nor does anyone reach an age when he or she is no longer useful – if you’re still alive, God isn’t done with you yet.” In Touch, Charles Stanley

In these verses, Job is arguing with his friends about all the things that are going wrong with him and how useless he is to life and to God. I’ve done the same thing myself. But this morning when I did my meditation, the above lines from In Touch kept echoing in my head throughout the day. I keep hearing encouragement and lines like this letting me know that no matter what – I’m still part of God’s arsenal in the world. He’s using me. I’m not too old. He’s brought me through pain, weakness, sorrow, temptation, whatever you can name, because He wants to prove a point not only to me, but possibly to others as well.

I have several friends I envy, since their lives appear so much better than mine. In fact, I’ve often wanted to be them or follow what they do. I think one of my friends, who receives this blog knows whom I’m talking about. Yet, when I tried to follow in the footsteps I see created by this person, I’ve not done so well. When I look towards my paths and do what God wants me to do, my usefulness shines like a diamond, and I am so very happy. Now there are some days that I feel trapped in darkness, but the photo I have included today shows just how untrue that is. The dark clouds surround a patch of light in the middle - that is God's light shining through to me.

May God shower you, your family, and your furkids (if any) with His incredible blessings.

Michelle Rose

Photo by Michelle Rose (Angelini)

Mothers

Mothers
May 7, 2011

Hannah’s Prayer of Praise

1 Then Hannah prayed: “My heart rejoices in the LORD! The LORD has made me strong. Now I have an answer for my enemies; I rejoice because you rescued me. 2 No one is holy like the LORD! There is no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God. 1 Samuel 2:1-2

I have to admit, I could not remember who Hannah was; I had to look it up. She could not have any children by her husband, Elkanah. His other wife, Peninnah cruelly tormented Hannah. Now, Hannah and her husband went each year to Shiloh so they could worship God. One year she prayed she prayed, "Dear God, if You will only give me a son, I will give him back to You, to serve You all his days." God wasn’t about to deny such a woman who was this faithful to Him. A son was born to Hannah. She named him Samuel and he became a great king.

Being a mother is an important job. One, or so I’ve heard from my friends who are mothers, that is the toughest one in the world. I’ve never been a mother, but I remember all the things that mine did for me, even when I was a less-than-grateful child or adult. She taught me so much and while I did not agree with all her beliefs, I respected my mother for her love through my whole life – even until her last days on earth.

Here is a poem I’ve written about my Mother. I miss her so much. And to all you mothers reading this – I wish you a very Happy Mother’s Day.

Michelle Rose

In Praise of My Mother
Mary Frances Angelini
b. 7/4/1920 – d. 2/19/2000

I’m sure some days
you wondered who I was.
And you may have asked yourself,
Was I the daughter
that you carried for nine months?
Was I the baby that you so lovingly
raised to adulthood?

No, we didn’t always get along,
but there were times we laughed
and cried together over silly,
situations in our lives.

Mom, this poem is challenging
for me to write, since you can’t
read it. It’s difficult, too, since
you can’t see what kind of adult
I’ve become or whether I learned
any of the lessons you taught me.

Maybe your way of encouraging me
to succeed didn’t use the words
I wanted to hear, but you never
stopped believing in me.
.
I want you to know
I’ve become an adult
of whom you’d be proud.
I write poetry
I keep the precepts you taught me
I love plants and gardening
I remember the good times
when you were alive.

If I could say one thing to you now,
it would be that you did a good job
of raising me.
I hope you are proud
of the daughter you bore
and named because it sounded
musical. I hope that the angels
surround you with music that
pleases your ears.

Ups and Downs

Ups & Downs
May 6, 2011

Ok, I haven’t written God’s Tug in quite some time. The truth is that I wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue it. I didn’t feel God tugging at me to write this blog. Yet, so much has happened this week and I wrote to two of the Christian women I know online with this concern. They both emailed me back with great answers. Thank you both.

Downs:
I found out that my psychiatrist might be leaving. I’ve only seen him once and may see him again in June. It’s quite frustrating to see a health care professional, especially once or twice for my emotional disability.
Well, this is a minor down – my iPod bit the dust.
I didn’t have enough money to pay my bills, but I did manage to buy food – quite enough of it to last me for awhile.

Ups:
I finally got my “Blue Dot” training at the Humane Society so I can volunteer with the Mobile Adoption Unit, which I’m doing this Sunday, Mother’s Day.
I’ve been writing quite a number of poems, since I discovered a nice, peaceful place for inspiration.
I’ve been getting cuttings of plants, so I can add more green to my apartment.
The other day when I was shopping in Trader Joe’s, I was sharing with another woman and told her how much I wanted an orchid, but never seemed to have the money. A few minutes later, she came up to me with a purple orchid inside a Trader Joe’s bag, for which she’d paid. I never expected that.

I will continue writing God’s Tug, but it may not be on a daily basis. God continues to call me to write this blog. And through this week I’ve seen His hand in my life no matter what the situation.

One issue I continue to have problems with is being a toxic food dump. It’s something that keeps separating me from God and it’s one of my most difficult addictions to get a handle on. I’ve done all kinds of things. So, I will continue to pray to God for solutions. I ask for prayer for me in this area. Thank you.

May God richly bless you, your family, and your furkids (if you have any).

Michelle Rose

In the Midst of Praise

In the Midst of Praise
May 1, 2011

1”In that day you will say:
Although you were angry with me,
your anger has turned away
and you have comforted me.
2Surely God is my salvation:
I will trust and not be afraid.
The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and
my song;
He will become my salvation.”
3With joy you will draw water
from the wells of salvation.

4In that day you will say:
Give thanks to the Lord, call on his
name;
make known among the nations what he
has done,
and proclaim that his name is exalted.
5Sing to the Lord, for he has done glorious
things;
let this be known to all the world.
5Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of
Zion,
for great is the Holy one of Israel
among us.
Isaiah 12:1-6

I couldn’t help but include this whole chapter, maybe the shortest in the book of Isaiah. Yesterday when I was feeling down, and asked God to help me find something in the Bible that would help me, this is the first verse to which I opened.
After that, I thought, well, what’s the best praise song I know, and the Doxology came to mind. So, I sang it until I felt better.

Tonight’s God’s Tug will be short, since this was a lesson I’ve learned in the past and I have a feeling God will teach it to me until I know it by heart.

I’ve become somewhat lax about posting God’s Tug – I apologize for that. Not just for the fact that others (many I don’t know) receive courage and inspiration from it, but also because God has directed me to do these writings.(and we all know what happened to Jonah when he ignored God) ;~D

God’s blessings upon you, your family, and your furkids (if you have any).

Michelle Rose