Monday, April 13, 2009
Lessons from Life, Monday, April 13, 2009
“The final test of religious faith is whether it will enable men to endure insecurity without complacency or despair, whether it can so interpret the ancient verities that they will not become mere escape hatches from responsibilities but instruments of insights into what civilization means.”
~Reinhold Niebuhr quotes (American theologian, 1892-1971)~
This is where I’m at – complacency – a nowhere zone that feels like a grey area with even greyer edges. I’m not sure how I got here. Was it that during a crisis or challenge the adrenalin flowed and now that it’s over, there’s no “excitement” any more? I know it was a gradual process, but I know one thing, I’m finding it quite difficult to get out of this place.
I want to be back where I feel that my faith is a miracle of wonder; that life is incredibly amazing; that my goals are something to fight for. Maybe writing about this is the first step.
My gratitude to day is realization.
Surrounded by God’s Light, Michelle Rose
Lessons from Life, Sunday, April 12, 2009 – Easter
A Day to Reflect
“What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step. It is always the same step, but you have to take it.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wind, Sand and Stars, 1939, translated from French by Lewis Galantière
Today was not a grand and spectacular day although it was Easter. It was a day of reflection and facing some fears. I didn’t do much today, but faced the fact that in applying for a summer job teaching, I’m stuck on getting the first word down on the paper to create a curriculum. It is an irrational fear, but one that writers often have. I went through the gamut of “I can’t do this!” to “I’m not good enough to do this,” back to (after talking to a couple of friends), “OK, I CAN do this.” (Thanks to Ms Nordstrom!)
I’m also upset about a friend whom I haven’t heard from for quite awhile, even though I’ve called many times. I don’t know what’s going on with this friend, but I’ve decided, for my peace of mind, to let the friendship go and if this friend wants to contact me, then that’s what will happen.
My gratitude today is – even though I ran the gamut of emotions (from depressive to manic) – I managed to wind up on an even keel. The Lord takes such good care of me.
Taking It One Step at a Time, Michelle Rose
Lessons from Life, Saturday, April 11, 2009
A Vacation from the Computer
“Good for the body is the work of the body, and good for the soul is the work of the soul, and good for either is the work of the other.” ~Henry David Thoreau~
I spend so much time on my computer, often not really accomplishing much, so today I was happy to take a vacation from it. I spent all day with the Pasadena Humane Society Mobile Adoption Unit. Of course, I took care of a Chihuahua most of the day.
What did I accomplish today? I was outside in lovely weather, I gave a sweet Chihuahua love and helped people see he needed a forever home, and I came home feeling tired, but happy.
My gratitude is that I was able to be the Chihuahua Whisperer one more day.
Taking care of God’s Creatures, Michelle Rose
Lessons from Life, Friday, April 10, 2009
“So likewise ye, when ye see these things come to pass, know ye that the kingdom of God is nigh at hand.” ~Luke 21:31 KJV~
Today the Romans crucified Jesus. He suffered unspeakable agony on the Cross as He shouldered the sins of the world alone. I spent today feeling depressed, since another student cancelled and I made no money this week. I wonder how Jesus felt hanging on that Cross, dying for people who did not believe in Him? Was He depressed? I know from reading the Bible that He asked The Father if the Crucifixion might be avoided, but Jesus also said those five words, “Not my will, but thine.” So Jesus knew that no matter what, He would be tried as a criminal and crucified just like one.
It never fails to amaze me that Jesus loved me so much that He would die for me. He didn’t question that He had to do it, He just obeyed the Father. I don’t believe Jesus became depressed that He had to do this. He followed the will of the Lord. The amazing part is that no matter what size my problems are, Jesus cares for each one, just as He loves me, even though I’m not perfect. He died for my imperfection. He died so He could see me again in Heaven – face to face – where all my sins would be forgiven and washed away.
Need I have anymore gratitude than this for the love of Jesus and my heavenly Father? I think not.
So Blessed and Loved by Jesus, Michelle Rose
Lessons from Life, Thursday, April 9, 2009
A Cup of Comfort
“Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern. So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.”
Today I left my place early to get into Eagle Rock, so I could have lunch before tutoring my student. However, the student never showed, never called, never “nothinged.” To say I was upset is putting it mildly, since this is not the first time this student has done this to me. I wanted to yell and scream at the mother, but she’d gone out and left the student at home, besides it’s not good business to do that. I called my coordinator and blew off a bit of steam with him. He understood, as I’d told him this student and her mother did this on several occasions.
I decided to get back to Hollywood and go to Starbuck’s to have a cup of decaf espresso and a blueberry bar if they had them. I’m not sure why, but the bitterness of the espresso has always been soothing to me. That’s my physical cup of comfort. I didn’t make any money this week, but the Lord’s cup of comfort is being with me in a time when I feel quite depressed and upset. Yes, I’m concerned about money.
Sometimes I really like working in education, but the uncertainty of it does not make me comfortable. I’ll stay in it for right now, since this is how I know how to make money. I feel, though that God is somehow telling me to keep looking for something else in which I be more suited and more successful. I’ve got the sense that I’ve been following others’ paths most of my life, and now, even at this late age, it’s time to break free and choose something that is uniquely my own.
My gratitude is that the espresso soothed me and that I have the intrinsic knowledge and understanding that God loves me even when I don’t feel lovely.
Comforted by My Saviour, Michelle Rose
Lessons from Life, Wednesday, April 08, 2009
“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments.” ~Jim Rohn~
I am not always been disciplined in accomplishing my goals, so some of them take longer to achieve. Yet it is in my consistency to accomplish them that I succeed. When faced with the overwhelming amount of what I had to achieve, I’ve learned to allow myself to concentrate on one at a time, as I can handle them. Sometimes it’s not a choice of when to deal with them, but how in my attitude. It’s all I can do, since I’m only one person and in doing this, I’ve learned I don’t get as panicked and anxiety-ridden. This in itself has been my discipline.
My gratitude is knowing I can make it through challenging times and not worry that I will come through on the other end.
Realizing My Strengths, Michelle Rose
Lessons from Life, Tuesday, April 7, 2009
“My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare.”
~Psalm 25:15 NIV~ (actually all of Ps. 25)
In reading through the Bible, I’m discovering something wonderful – connections between the books of the Bible, events in them, and how they relate to events in my life.
In I Samuel, David, who’s become a soldier for King Saul is suddenly running from the King who believes David wants to harm the King. In the Psalms, many of which are written by David, who started out as a humble shepherd, calling out to God for safety from his enemies wanting to kill him.
I may not have enemies pursuing me who want to murder me – it only feels like it – but still, I’ve cried out to the Lord for relief from the overwhelming stress I’m under and He listened. David never stopped believing that his God would protect him. I’ve had my moments of doubt that my trials would ever end, but I have come through them and they are almost at an end. My lesson is taking an example from David and his faith in the Lord.
I’m grateful for my continuing faith.
I’d also like to request of those who read my Lessons from Life to pray for the earthquake situation in Italy. One of the ladies who reads this daily reflection lives in Italy. Maria, you are in my prayers that you and your family are safe.
Taking Lessons from the Bible, Michelle Rose
Lessons from Life, Monday, April 6, 2009
Turning a Corner
“The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell;
It goes beyond the highest star,
And reaches to the lowest hell…”
Full lyrics & information at: http://library.timelesstruths.org/music/The_Love_of_God/
~Written by Frederick M. Lehman, 1917~
I have not been in a very good place lately, as you can tell from my Lessons. Today, I turned to God for help, by writing, “God, I know I’m almost out of the woods, but the trees appear so huge. Can you hug me a bit closer and help me rise about them, showing me the edge of the forest? Your Child, Michelle Rose”
Tonight I was catching up on reading Nan’s Calendar and Everett’s Good Things and God showed me the edge of the woods. He showed me His Light.
My gratitude is how much better I feel.
Back in the SonLight, Michelle Rose
Lessons from Life, Sunday, April 5, 2009
This Week’s Ending
Even though I just felt like resting today, I had to do a bit of shopping (since I was out of soymilk) then do a couple loads of laundry – yeah – my once-a-month-whether-I-need- it-or-not-laundry – but I was totally out of underwear. Now the clothes are in the dryer and I can fold them soon.
Hopefully, the work I get this week will not be at middle schools, but I think it will, since the high schools are on break. Still, I need the money and work. I still haven’t had the chance to write the curriculum for a summer job. Not sure what lessons I’m learning each day, except how drained I am.
I’m grateful to have clean underwear.
God’s Wondering Child, Michelle Rose
Lessons from Life, Saturday, April 4, 2009
Today was supposed to be a fun day, but by the time I came home, I was so very tired physically and emotionally. I arrived at Poetry & Cookies late because the bus didn’t come on time and nearly didn’t get to read because I was kind of forgotten since I went to the bathroom. I think I’ll stay home next year since the rest of the day didn’t go very well either. My student didn’t show up, although her grandfather called later to apologize. By that time I just wanted to leave and come home. One of the poets gave me a ride down Lake Ave. Crossing the street after the light turned green, I nearly became roadkill when a car barreled through the red light – I pulled back just in time. Fortunately, the bus came a few minutes later – I felt so anti-social.
I was grateful to get in bed early, since there was nothing much on tv, and to read a very good book.
God’s Vulnerable Child, Michelle Rose
Lessons from Life, Friday, April 3, 2009
Today I received my pay from SSDI and LAUSD. I was so grateful that LAUSD included a stimulus rebate, which helped me pay my rent, some bills, and buy things I needed. Unfortunately, after paying for everything, I still couldn’t afford my discounted LA Zoo membership. I’ll just be patient and wait until I have the money to renew my membership.
After all the running around I did, I came home and was very tired and hurt quite a bit, but was very grateful for all I managed to accomplish.
Grateful to God, Michelle Rose
Lessons from Life, Thursday, April 2, 2009
With the Kids
Along with eleven of my friends, I went to an elementary school in Northridge. Each of us read 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade classes our poems, then, shared a poetry-writing idea with the class. As much as my leg hurt, I enjoyed myself immensely. It’s funny, I appear to be happiest when I’m in some kind of educational setting – whether working or learning.
I’m grateful for the experience I had and for the money I earned that helped me buy my bus pass.
Serving as a Teacher, Michelle Rose
Lessons from Life, Wednesday, April 1, 2009
I was wound up so very tight for so long that I had to take one day to unwind. I’m tired of being in this particular stretch of the woods. And I still have a ways to go, but gratefully the Lord has seen me through.
Sasha’s Loving Mommie, Michelle Rose