Sunday, March 15, 2009

Lessons from Life - 5 days in one...

I'm posting all these lessons at once, since I'm backed up on doing it and I'm a bit tired.

Lessons from Life, Wednesday, March 11, 2009

One Thing at a Time or a Today is one of Great Uncertainty

“The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn.”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

To act without rapacity, to use knowledge with wisdom, to respect interdependence, to operate without hubris and greed are not simply moral imperatives. They are an accurate scientific description of the means of survival.
~Barbara Ward, British economist and writer, interested in the problems of developing countries. (1914-1981)~

I look at this last quote and had to read it several times. What does this have to do with my life? This morning I had several things happening at once. I stopped, realizing that I had control over how I felt – I didn’t have to feel overwhelmed, although after the 2 nasty lawyer calls and the nasty lawyer letter – I still do.

- My computer was acting up and no icons showed on the screen. (no big problem, I know how to fix it)
- I received a call from a collection agency – yeah, the scary kind.
- I was on hold with my health care center to rearrange an appointment with my therapist.
- I was hungry.
- I made a mess with the oatmeal all over the stove, as I hadn’t turned off the heat when I put the oatmeal in the boiling water. (the least of my worries)
- After eating, I received another nasty lawyer call.

I figured out which order I could handle all these concerns, then took action. First I cleaned the stove so that it wasn’t harder to clean later. Then when I was on the phone about the appointment, I hung up, knowing I could call back later. I disconnected my computer and reset it, leaving it off while I ate. After I ate, I called the receptionist to rearrange my therapy appointment, called the collection agency and hung up on him, when he made a remark that was nasty, and rebooted my computer. Then I received another call from a creditor blowing everything apart. My payment to the paralegal will be there by Friday, I should have the preliminary bankruptcy filed by sometime next week. Then the complete filing should be soon.

Right now I just want for this nightmare that’s been going on for way too long a time to end. I don’t have much and I’m doing my best to hold on to what few possessions that help me and what little sanity (which is precarious at this point) I’m struggling with.

I know I’m grateful for something and I’m doing my best to figure out what it is…

Feeling Like I’m Living Under a Very Black Cloud, Michelle Rose
Lessons from Life, Thursday, March 12, 2009

A Little Rough Around the Edges

We are never prepared for what we expect. ~James A. Michener, Caravans

Today started out seemingly better – I received a 2-day substituting assignment. The only thing was that it was at a middle school. In addition, I had to tutor afterwards and shop for food and other things on the way home. Suffice it to say it was an extremely long and challenging day. I dislike subbing at middle schools, since they take too much out of me physically and emotionally. After 2 days, I was totally worn out, but glad that I’d made some money.

What have I learned – don’t take subbing assignments at middle schools, since I don’t like doing them. I once promised myself I would not do work that I hated. In some ways, I’ve not remained true to that promise. Sometimes, though, financial need trumps promise. A clear case of necessity.

Gratitude – I made it home in one piece, even if exhausted.

Carried by God, Michelle Rose
Lessons from Life, Friday 13, 2009

Another Day at the “House of Horrors”

No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness. ~Aristotle

Insanity is often the logic of an accurate mind overtasked. ~Oliver W. Holmes, Sr., The Autocrat of the Breakfast-Table, 1858

These 2 quotes sum up quite accurately how I felt on this day. I had to fight all day to keep my sanity and not leave that middle school. I don’t exactly know how I made it through the day, but God sure had His work cut out for Him that day in tugging me from the minute I awakened to the minute I was done working. Part of me is still shaking when I think about how each class period grew progressively worse. Personally, I was very relieved when that final bell rang and the class of 51 kids (except for one I knew personally from tutoring him) ran screaming out the door. Lord Have Mercy!

To say I skirted on the edges of insanity that day, about describes it.

Gratitude – I made it through one of the toughest days I’ve ever had subbing and came home to vegetate in front of the tv – yeah, my mind zombied out! God bless the teachers who work in middle schools – it must take a very special person who can do it.

So Happy to be Carried by My Saviour, Michelle Rose
Lessons from Life, Saturday, March 14, 2009

Instead of Giving in to Depression

The mind is the most capricious of insects - flitting, fluttering. ~Virginia Woolf

I wanted to stay home today and vegetate again, but I forced myself to get out to the poetry workshop. Sometimes waging a war against what my mind tells me to do helps me feel like I’m winning a battle. Going through challenging times may not be easy, but after I get through them, I still must force myself a little farther.

Gratitude – that I have friends who understand what I’ve been going through for too long a time and the Lord understanding my need for breaks from the constant stress.

Seeing Only One Set of Footprints, Michelle Rose
Lessons from Life, Sunday, March 15, 2009


“Turn to the strong hold, ye prisoners of hope: even to day do I declare that I will render double unto thee…” ~Zechariah 9:12 KJV~

“They shall not hunger nor thirst: neither shall the heat nor sun smite them: for he that hath mercy on them shall lead them even by the springs of water he guide them.” ~Isaiah 49:10 KJV~

“…Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name: thou art mine.” ~Isaiah 43:1 KJV~

Whenever I get in a fearsome financial situation, I want to eat and eat and eat… My hunger is so very tied into my insecurity. The first verse I chose is about hope. And that I am, a prisoner of hope. The second part of the 2nd verse refers to the 23rd Psalm – which is one of my favorites. I even have a mug with the first 2 verses on it. In the last verse I chose, I realized that I was supposed to find it, even though I wasn’t looking for it. Yet every time I read it, I feel less afraid and more assured, since my God is letting me know that my fears are groundless. He is with me and He will never leave me.

My hunger may be mostly in my mental, but all too often, I give in to it and feed my physical hunger, leaving me empty. Here are only 3 verses in the whole Bible with the Lord’s assurance that He’s got me in His arms and is looking out for me. When I first started reading through the Bible (in a year) I hungered for God’s Word and knowledge of Him. That hunger still hasn’t left me. I know I satisfied both kinds of hunger tonight by seeking the answers in the Bible and from God, rather than continuing to do it with food. This is not actually how I started out writing this lesson I learned, but it’s what my God wanted me to learn.

These lessons are what I learn during each day of my life, but I only learn them because they are what God wants me to realize what He can teach me.

Gratitude – a quiet day to rest, since I’ve been feeling quite a bit of physical pain, and an unexpected lesson learned.

In His Arms, Michelle Rose

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