Monday, December 14, 2009

Leaving the Junkyard


And...this is the way God loves us...

photobucket image by MarcieLee

As I walk to and from the bus stop on my way to and from work, I see furniture that people have thrown out. Most of this furniture is not the best - it's the kind made from particle board, rather than real wood. Now, there's nothing wrong with picking up other peoples' discards - some very good furniture and other items can be acquired this way. It's just that for many years, I never felt myself worthy of new and better items, nor could I afford them. I picked furniture, clothes, all kinds of items off the street, some of which was in questionable condition.

Tonight, when I was walking home from work, I realized something about my doing this, how I saw myself, and how I'd changed. Being overweight and without a relationship, I've often seen myself as less than a quality person. I've always said that God loves me because I know He doesn't make junk. But that's exactly what I allow myself to feel like. The feeling comes and goes. I've changed in that I don't allow myself to stay in the "junk" yard very long. Yes, I had a bad day yesterday, but today my disposition is sunny and cheerful.

I'm God's child and I love myself just as He does, only not as perfectly. The fact that I'm not perfect means I allow these feelings to come into my mind. At one point they dominated my thinking and I stayed depressed for days, weeks, and even months. To Jesus, I'm perfect just the way I am and He sees me that way, even if I don't.

I am blessed by so many people, events, and situations. Yet, it never fails to amaze me just how much Jesus loves me and how He continues to bless me, most times when I least expect it. Jesus called everyone to come to share his burden and that He would give them rest. That's exactly what He's done with my attitude about myself. I keep returning to Jesus, who changes me with His blessings. Many people say they don't believe in miracles, but how can I not believe when I am one?

1 comment:

Nan said...

Yes, my dear sweet lady, you are a miracle. Through another miracle of God's (the internet) I have witnessed your transformation. You surely are not the same woman you were a couple of years ago. Though we haven't met in person, I feel as though I have literally seen you grow into this beautiful woman I see when I read your Lessons From Life. I see right into your heart and it is beautiful, sensitive, warm, caring, faithful.
Through all your adversities in life you have more than survived them. In my heart, I believe you have conquered so many of them.
We are all a work in progress and you're right, God loves us all just as we are and he loves the person we are still becoming.
Thank you so very much, Michelle Rose for sharing your heart with us. The more you open up and let go of the unnecessary fluff, the more you are filled with the great, awesome, wonderful gifts that can only come from our Heavenly Father. You are a blessing in my life. I love you, my sister in Christ. Nan