Tuesday, August 11, 2009

August 6-10, 2009

**I'm posting all of the lessons I haven't posted in one day, to catch up quickly for those who would like to read them.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

The Best in Myself

When we seek out the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.
~William Arthur Ward~

Wednesday I was on top of the world – everything appeared to be a blessing – then I went to the mail and I had a reality check. I had to file another claim for unemployment. I got upset – not stopping to see the shades of grey in between the white of blessing and the black of feeling punished. I called a friend and he suggested that I just had one more hoop to jump through before the San Francisco trip. I mentioned that it felt like they were rings with flames around them. All day Thursday I tried to get through to refile my unemployment claim, with no luck.

Part 2 continued on Friday.
Friday, August 07, 2009

Anger: The Worst of Myself

Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before - it takes something from him. ~Louis L'Armour

If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size? ~Sydney J. Harris

Anger is one letter short of danger. ~Author Unknown

I know this appears backwards, but I don’t always learn lessons when I’m patient. The last quote is especially relevant to what happened Friday. I learned one time that if I go to the EDD (Employment Development Department) office, they can sometimes get through to the 1-800 number to file claims. After my appointment with the nutritionist, I went to the office in downtown LA. I tried the number from the phone in the office and got irrationally angry and slammed the phone down. Fortunately, I didn’t get in trouble, but one of the office workers came out and said she’d help me. We talked for a minute and it took her a couple of tries to reach the claims department. She spoke to the rep, explaining the situation, then I filed my claim verbally. It turned out, that since I’d filed the claim online on Thursday, I already had a confirmation number.

So, things worked out. I got upset and angry for nothing. Once again, I reminded myself of the saying that God protects drunks and fools. I may not be a drunk, but anger certainly makes me a fool.
Saturday, August 08, 2009


Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. ~Theodore Roosevelt

I am driving to San Francisco on Monday with friends to spend a week with them at poetry readings. Normally, I’d have already been packed by now, but I haven’t even started. Today I went to the bank and did a bit of shopping for food to take on the trip, so we don’t have to eat at restaurants. Then, I was either going to do laundry or some cleaning – I did neither – but watched the dvd, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. That’s the energy I had. Now that it’s later, I’ve decided to go to Ralph’s, like I planned earlier. It’s cooler out and I have a little more energy. Tomorrow I can do the laundry, a little cleaning, and pick up my meds at the pharmacy.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Difficult Decisions

"We all carry around so much pain in our hearts. Love and pain and beauty. They all seem to go together like one little tidy confusing package. It's a messy business, life. It's hard to figure--full of surprises. Some good. Some bad." ~Henry Bromel, television producer~

I've had much pain in my life. Some of it led to incredible opportunities after I worked through it. Today I was in enormous physical pain that no matter what I did, it never went away. In addition, I experienced extreme muscular pain and weakness and exhaustion, making it difficult for me to do even the one task I set for myself - laundry. In light of the way I felt, I decided not to go on the poetry tour to San Francisco. In my heart I was sad, but I knew I made the best decision for myself, since feeling like I did (and I have), I would not be able to keep up with the pace of the tour. This tour will not be the last one, nor will I feel this way forever. More opportunites for tours and vacations will arise and when they do, I will be ready for them physically, emotionally, and mentally. I know that the Lord was telling me that this wasn't the right time to force my body to do what it wasn't ready to do.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Never Too Late

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” ~George Eliot (Mary Anne Evans), English novelist~

“Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.” ~David Starr Jordan, The Philosophy of Despair, US biologist, educator, & ichthyologist (1851 - 1931) ~
I have often mentioned to others that I am not a success. I am 60, but my life is not over by any means. I did a search of famous people who achieved success late in life. Some people are very recognizable, while others may not be. Below is a short list of people who show that never giving up led to their success:

“Anna Mary Robertson "Grandma" Moses was in her 70s when she began painting scenes of her rural life in upstate New York.

When she was just months shy of her 50th birthday, Julia Child collaborated on her first French cooking book, a two-volume set titled Mastering the Art of French Cooking.

Colonel Sanders of finger lickin’ good chicken fame, had a difficult start in life but early on realized he had a creative cooking talent. However it was not until he was in his 60s that he started KFC and became a millionaire.

Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote about her family's life in the 1870s and 1880s in the acclaimed The Little House on the Prairie series of books for children. She published her first book at the age of 65.”

References quoted and paraphrased from: http://www.eldr.com/blogs/creativity-matters/when-creative-success-comes-later-life

What this shows me is that everything I have done so far relates to future success in my health, creativity, achievements and in all areas of my life. I may not become as famous as the people I mentioned above, but I will achieve the success of accomplishment. I measure success in being faithful to God and in the work I do to achieve my goals.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


“3He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. 4He determines the number of stars and calls them each by name. 5Great is our Lord and might in power; his understanding has no limit.” ~Ps 147: 3-5 NIV~

I have been brokenhearted many times about so many things. The Lord knows each one of them. He’s healed me, enabling me to move on in my life, often on to something much better. Right now, my heart is still battling with my food addiction. It’s out of control again. The visit to the nutritionist went well, but what I need is continuing support in this addiction. Just as the Lord has numbered and named each one of the myriad of stars in the sky, so has He all the days of my life. I want to win this battle. I want healing from the destructive force of this addiction. I must return to reading the book given to me by one of my friends who receives this daily journal, God Hunger. The author of the book encountered the same battle and won the war.

Once again, I ask you to keep me in your prayers (if you pray) or thoughts (if you don’t). Thank you.

Michelle Rose

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