Today started out wonderfully. I slept well last night and managed not to wake up during the night. I made it to the womens' AA meeting I tried to get to last week. They were on Step 10, "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." I believe when I write these Lessons from Life, I'm doing just that. In the 3 years or so I didn't go to meetings, I continued to work the program.
On Saturday and today, I took a cake for 30 years of sobriety. Today two other women took cakes also. It was nice to share our sober birthdays with each other and the group. Womens' meetings have always been special to me, since I we can share things in them that we can't in mixed meetings.
After the meeting, I went to lunch at my favorite vegan restaurant, went downtown and bought a pair of silver studs to replace the one I'd lost, so I can have two matching earrings, then went to Out of the Closet (thrift store) and bought a pair of pants and 3 shirts. The shirts were colors that I previously would not have considered - yellow, dusty pink, and red. Mostly what I wear are dark colors or grey. I believe God is changing my heart and thoughts about myself. I am looking at myself differently than I once did. What an amazing God I believe in who loves me without end. WOW!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
Lifting My Heart
The physical pain I've felt the last couple of days has not done much to lift my spirits, but I'm mostly a positive and upbeat person. Today, I decided that I would wear some different colors from the usual grey teeshirts I normally wear. I wore a tangerine colored shirt and lime green socks with some orange in them.
All day long I kept thinking that these colors truly lifted my spirits, in spite of some annoying things that happened. But was it truly the colors that made me feel better or God providing what He know would help me?
Before I left for work, I was chatting with my friend from high school, Howard. He'd lost his cellphone and was quite upset about not being able to find it. He asked me to pray for him, telling me that I always had prayer warriors in Florida. I'd like to think that I'm as strong a prayer warrior for others who need it, praying for them without asking. Sometimes one of my friend's names will come into my mind, and I know I must pray for them, not even knowing why. If nothing else, praying for them helps me know I'm helping them, even when I can't do anything more.
Today's message in my daily reading was about the disciples wanting to sit at the right and left hands of Jesus. He told them that if they wanted to be glorified, they must become servants. In praying for others, I become a willing servant and it lifts my heart in ways that many other actions or words can't.
All day long I kept thinking that these colors truly lifted my spirits, in spite of some annoying things that happened. But was it truly the colors that made me feel better or God providing what He know would help me?
Before I left for work, I was chatting with my friend from high school, Howard. He'd lost his cellphone and was quite upset about not being able to find it. He asked me to pray for him, telling me that I always had prayer warriors in Florida. I'd like to think that I'm as strong a prayer warrior for others who need it, praying for them without asking. Sometimes one of my friend's names will come into my mind, and I know I must pray for them, not even knowing why. If nothing else, praying for them helps me know I'm helping them, even when I can't do anything more.
Today's message in my daily reading was about the disciples wanting to sit at the right and left hands of Jesus. He told them that if they wanted to be glorified, they must become servants. In praying for others, I become a willing servant and it lifts my heart in ways that many other actions or words can't.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Listening to My Body
I woke up early this morning and could not get back to sleep. Instead, I called my Aunt Nettie in NJ, then got Sasha's food and my breakfast ready. Today, I've been having trouble with pain in in my arms and legs, but I've attempted to keep somewhat active anyway. I went to the farmers' market, since I was out of baby lettuce, sprouts, and tomatoes. It's a bit of exercise and gets me out into the fresh air and sunshine. In the desire to eat better and change my eating habits, I've allowed myself the "luxury" of buying and eating fresh organic food. I love the taste more than fruits and veggies I buy from Ralph's Market.
After I ate lunch, a vegan meal I bought at the farmers' market, I was on the computer, but felt very tired. I wanted to stay on the computer chatting with my friends on facebook, but my body had other ideas. So, I got off the computer and lay down to take a couple hour nap. This, like the good food I gave it today, is what my body was telling me it needed.
Sometimes when I don't listen to what my body (physically) is telling me, I've gone over the limit and experience more pain. It's like that when I don't listen to what God is telling me. I have more pain in my day or in my life. Past mistakes tell me to stop being stubborn and listen to what I don't know but something or Someone else does. It saves me the pain of making the mistatke again.
After I ate lunch, a vegan meal I bought at the farmers' market, I was on the computer, but felt very tired. I wanted to stay on the computer chatting with my friends on facebook, but my body had other ideas. So, I got off the computer and lay down to take a couple hour nap. This, like the good food I gave it today, is what my body was telling me it needed.
Sometimes when I don't listen to what my body (physically) is telling me, I've gone over the limit and experience more pain. It's like that when I don't listen to what God is telling me. I have more pain in my day or in my life. Past mistakes tell me to stop being stubborn and listen to what I don't know but something or Someone else does. It saves me the pain of making the mistatke again.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Fear and Laughter
Last night I had a mixed experience. After tutoring, I ate dinner and walked around Panorama Mall for a bit, then did some shopping at WalMart. As I walked outside to catch the bus all "hell" broke loose. Cop cars and choppers were everywhere, several black & whites parked at the intersection where I catch the bus. Needless to say it freaked me out a bit and I was scared, although with all the cops around, I'm not sure why I was. Yet, this morning I thought how silly of me to be scared (ok, I was tired and wanted to get home), but God had the situation in control - He would not have allowed me to be hurt - not with all the police presence. Anyway, I safely got on the bus, although I had to cross the street to run after it a bit, since it turned the corner to detour from its normal route. I still don't know and really don't care what was happening, I'm just very grateful that God got me out of there safely.
Now the laughter - today in Good Things, Everett Christian posted this quote,
"Nothing is harder than gracefully getting down from your high horse."
- From Reminisce Magazine -
I think I know why this made me laugh - it's so true and typical. How many times have I had to do this? Maybe my horse has a special stall where he waits for me to become willing to get off him, but I do know that at times when I've had an attitude reversal, my face has been quite sheepish. Everytime I read it I laugh again, and laughter is so good for the soul!
Now the laughter - today in Good Things, Everett Christian posted this quote,
"Nothing is harder than gracefully getting down from your high horse."
- From Reminisce Magazine -
I think I know why this made me laugh - it's so true and typical. How many times have I had to do this? Maybe my horse has a special stall where he waits for me to become willing to get off him, but I do know that at times when I've had an attitude reversal, my face has been quite sheepish. Everytime I read it I laugh again, and laughter is so good for the soul!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Life's messes and the "clean-up crew"
"18 For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life hand down to you from your forefthers, 19 but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. I Peter 1:18-19 (NIV)
This morning I woke up to a mess my cat had left by the bathroom door. She had an accident and it wasn't her fault. I simply cleaned it up without becoming angry with her. Even when Sasha, my cat, gets miffed and attacks me because I've crossed one of her boundaries and attacks me, I don't get angry, but love her where she's at in the moment.
Similarly, when I sin or make a mistake, Jesus doesn't get mad at me, since He died to wash away my sin. That doesn't mean I intentionally sin, but do my best to walk away from temptation when it presents itself.
Yesterday, I was talking to the woman who moved into my old apartment next door when I had my last roommate. One of the things I said to her was that Ed and I did not get along well - he wanted me out of the apartment - but things worked out exactly the way they were supposed to. That's true, but God brought me through the experience of 3 roommates with whom I didn't get along, until He brought me to the place where I'm in an apartment I can afford and have the serenity I sought. The point is that if I can forgive Sasha and God can forgive me, then I can forgive my last 3 roommates for hurting me. It's just part of life. Messes happen, but the "cleanup crew" changes.
This morning I woke up to a mess my cat had left by the bathroom door. She had an accident and it wasn't her fault. I simply cleaned it up without becoming angry with her. Even when Sasha, my cat, gets miffed and attacks me because I've crossed one of her boundaries and attacks me, I don't get angry, but love her where she's at in the moment.
Similarly, when I sin or make a mistake, Jesus doesn't get mad at me, since He died to wash away my sin. That doesn't mean I intentionally sin, but do my best to walk away from temptation when it presents itself.
Yesterday, I was talking to the woman who moved into my old apartment next door when I had my last roommate. One of the things I said to her was that Ed and I did not get along well - he wanted me out of the apartment - but things worked out exactly the way they were supposed to. That's true, but God brought me through the experience of 3 roommates with whom I didn't get along, until He brought me to the place where I'm in an apartment I can afford and have the serenity I sought. The point is that if I can forgive Sasha and God can forgive me, then I can forgive my last 3 roommates for hurting me. It's just part of life. Messes happen, but the "cleanup crew" changes.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Payday and Blessings
I woke up early this morning. Well, I had something to do, then I went back to sleep for another couple of hours. When I woke up, I was ready to wake up and got out of bed right away. Today is a beautiful day - the sun is shining and the temperature will be warm again. I get my deposit from SSDI, so I can pay my rent, buy some things I need, and get my hair cut tonight.
It's only 9:48, but my day has been filled already with so many blessings. I read a short article in Charles Stanley's In Touch called, "An Hour of Gratitude." The author goes about her day, doing her normal routine, but everytime she does something, she thinks about how many people are without what she has. I went to the bathroom in one with a toilet that flushed and a sink with soap and water to clean my hands. How many people don't have facilities like this? I washed my dishes and my cat's dishes in my sink with clean, running water. So many people in the world don't have clean water to drink, much less flowing water. I fed my cat and myself with food I bought from the grocery store and kept in the refrigerator. How many of the world's people go without food and clean water? I turned on my computer to type this and catch up on other news online. How many of the people in world in 3rd world countries don't even have electricity, much less computers? I'm looking out the window of my studio apartment - the window has glass in it. How many of the world's people live in huts they've made from what the earth gives and don't have glass in their windows? After breakfast I'll take a shower, get on the bus, and go to the bank to do some shopping and go to an AA meeting. Again, how many of the world's 3rd world people, don't have any of those things?
It hasn't even been an hour yet, but I've put down a whole list of things that I sometimes take for granted. And, as I go throughout today, I'll think of other things for which to be grateful and pray for those in my life or not who are in need. Gratitude like certain lessons in life never end.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Not Exactly Lessons from Life
This morning, I woke up early, then needed to sleep a bit more, because of the physical pain I felt. After waking up, I swept my apartment and made breakfast. I thought today was the day I had 2 doctor's appointments, bu they are next Monday and Friday.
Here we are in November and another year is almost done. Looking back, I've accomplished some of what I set out to do and other goals remained unfinished. Yet, I feel more serene, more content, more self-confident in many ways. So, I can't say this year has been totally bad. There were many wonderful parts, aside from the overstressful crises I went through.
Will I renew writing Lessons from Life? I don't know. I do know that writing them helped me through an extremely difficult time in my life. It brought me closer to God, brought me a new understanding of my abilities, and what I could handle. This year I made many major decisions - to move to a smaller apartment, to resign from substitute teaching, to return to AA meetings, letting go of many things I had held onto that were crowding my life, in addition to other lesser decisions.
This morning I made another decision - to start my day reading Nan's Calendar on the computer, then move onto my email and other things online. Next I will read my email, including Good Things, written by Everett Christian. When I first woke up, I read my Bible. As I move through the day, I pray for people in my life and others, plus situations like the war and those in need. Will I continue writing this on a daily basis? I don't know - I only know it helped me this morning and I needed to see my thoughts in black and white.
Here we are in November and another year is almost done. Looking back, I've accomplished some of what I set out to do and other goals remained unfinished. Yet, I feel more serene, more content, more self-confident in many ways. So, I can't say this year has been totally bad. There were many wonderful parts, aside from the overstressful crises I went through.
Will I renew writing Lessons from Life? I don't know. I do know that writing them helped me through an extremely difficult time in my life. It brought me closer to God, brought me a new understanding of my abilities, and what I could handle. This year I made many major decisions - to move to a smaller apartment, to resign from substitute teaching, to return to AA meetings, letting go of many things I had held onto that were crowding my life, in addition to other lesser decisions.
This morning I made another decision - to start my day reading Nan's Calendar on the computer, then move onto my email and other things online. Next I will read my email, including Good Things, written by Everett Christian. When I first woke up, I read my Bible. As I move through the day, I pray for people in my life and others, plus situations like the war and those in need. Will I continue writing this on a daily basis? I don't know - I only know it helped me this morning and I needed to see my thoughts in black and white.
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