My Mind and My Body

My Mind and My Body
April 8, 2011

My whole being, praise the Lord and do not forget all his kindnesses. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He saves my life from the grave and loads me with love and mercy. He satisfies me with good things and makes me young again, like the eagle.
Psalm 103:2-5 NCV

So many things have been going through my mind lately about what I look like. I’m not happy with my body image and my weight. I don’t feel at my best, knowing I’m at risk for health issues. Some time ago, I told my doctor I was interested in the lap band to help me lose weight, but after watching a Dr. Oz show I taped where they covered the subject of lap bands, I’m not so sure I want the surgery anymore. Yet, I know this is not an answer, only a help in losing weight. I have so much trouble controlling what I eat – I’m a compulsive overeater. Now that I’m unemployed or will be soon, I don’t know what I can afford to help me lose weight. I don’t believe in dieting. I do have a gym/heath club to which I can return, now that I’m feeling better.

Ok, here’s the big issue – my mind is in the way – of eating correctly, of getting to the gym, of doing so many things that would help me. I keep wondering what’s wrong with me (well, other than my compulsive overeating) and why I have this fear of moving forward. This verse is perfect – it lets me know that I’m not alone, so why do I feel this way?

I saw a new psychiatrist today and he adjusted my medications to help me with the depression part of my bi-polar disorder. Wow, he asked me all kinds of questions. I like him much better than the NP, so I’m going to continue with him even though I have to pay for the visits. Maybe if I can get my depression under control, then it will help me become more willing to keep away from my emotional/stress eating of junk food. I’m not looking for a quick fix, just some help getting out of this rut I’ve been stuck in for more than half a year. I’m tired of it. Praise God for loving me the way He does, because I sure haven’t been so in love with myself lately. Sigh…

God’s blessings upon you, your families, and your furkids (if any),
Michelle

The Start of a New Year and Decade...

Many people make resolutions. I don't, because I don't keep them, instead I have goals. Today when I was reading my AA Daily Reflections book I found the following:

"December 31
Daily Resolutions

The idea of "twenty-four-hour living" applies primarily to the emotional life of the individual. Emotionally speaking, we must not live in yesterday or tomorrow. ~As Bill Sees It, p. 284~

A New Year: 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes--a time to consider directions, goals, and actions. I must make some plans to live a normal life, but also I must live emotionally within a twent-four-hour frame, for if I do, I don't have to make New Year's resolutions! I can make every day a New Year's day! I can decide, "Today I will do this .... Today I will do that." Each day I can measure my life by trying to do a little better, by deciding to follow God's will and by making an effort to put the principles of our A.A. program into action."

Today in a continuing effort to find solutions to my eating disorder, I joined a gym. My therapist suggested it, since I have requested a lap band from my doctor. Well, it's a long process and the insurance company wants the patient to try a weight loss program first. My therapist also gave me other "action plan actions" to accomplish. I have completed most of them or are in the process of doing the other suggestions.

Here's the thing about me joining this gym. It was more expensive then I could afford today. Earlier today, I passed a homeless man and gave him $5.00. Not much, but I'm sure he appreciated it. When I went to the gym, the guy I was talking to realized that I was very serious about my committment to improve my health - it's not just about the weight loss - so he talked to the gym manager. Here's what they did for me: gave me a free month so I could start working on my health goals, and let me decide further down the line about doing the personal trainer program. This company (Gold's) is a heavy duty goal-oriented gym and they even have nutritional counseling.

Sunday, I will start a walking program I discovered online and I will go to the gym for my initial workout, where a trainer develops one for me that will help me. I can also use the facility in downtown LA where they have a swimming pool, which was what my therapist wanted me to find. By going to this gym, I don't have to join a program like WW. It's included in my membership.

I feel good about this coming year. I know it will be a healthier one for me. God continues to bless me.

Michelle Rose

Joy of Life

"I define joy as a sustained sense of well-being and internal peace - a connection to what matters." ~Oprah Winfrey~

I woke up this morning in a wonderful mood. I ate breakfast and then left to go to the bank, the pet store, the library, the health food store, and Albertson's (food store). In fact, I didn't just ride there, but took the bus to the bank, then walked from there to the other places, then walked back down again almost to Vermont and Prospect.

As I was walking up the hill to the pet store, library, and healthfood store, I realized that, "Gee, I'm out before 12 p.m. and I'm exercising!"

I was feeling quite well most of the day, then when I was tutoring my student, a ferocious headache descended on me. Still, I was not going to let it ruin my day. I think it happened because of something I ate today. I appear to be getting more sensitive to certain foods.

I finished the book, The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite, by David A. Kessler, MD. This book examines and approaches compulsive overeating from such a different viewpoint, not only from the point of view of the compulsive overeater, but also the food and diet industries and others. It's an incredible book and has helped me immensely. I am more aware of what I eat and the results of eating certain foods. This, to me, is part of the joy of life, that I have made a breakthrough in something that has controlled me for many, many years.

My Body's Response to Good Treatment

Friday, July 31, 2009

My Body’s Response to Good Treatment

Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.
~Luke 12:22-24 NIV (New International Version)~

Did you ever stop to taste a carrot? Not just eat it, but taste it? You can't taste the beauty and energy of the earth in a Twinkie. ~Astrid Alauda

I received my unemployment check today. It’s a good thing, since I heard an echo inside my refrigerator when I opened the door. I bought healthy food in addition to walking. The walk was actually unplanned, but felt so good. The salad I had for dinner tonight tasted delicious.

I’m firmly convinced that there’s a connection between treating my body well and how it and my mind respond to that treatment. Yeah, I’m on a roll.

Michelle Rose

Exercising for Health

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Exercising for Health

Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it. ~Plato

I’ve been having so much trouble with my back. Everyone tells me that exercise helps it, but I have been reluctant to do it, since I’ve been in so much pain. It’s like the chicken and the egg, well maybe. When I walked yesterday, I felt some relief. Today, I worked out at home and felt more relief. I have a feeling that’s it is a matter of finding the correct kind of exercise for my condition. I know one thing, the endorphins sure kicked in and I felt emotionally and spiritually better after I exercised today. I think if the Lord had wanted us to be lazy, He would not have afflicted humans with all the diseases and conditions that go along with not exercising. (ok, no offense to anyone who is in good shape and doesn’t exercise – this is mainly for myself and what I see needs to be done in my life and to prevent conditions in my body).

Michelle Rose