Mothers

Mothers
May 7, 2011

Hannah’s Prayer of Praise

1 Then Hannah prayed: “My heart rejoices in the LORD! The LORD has made me strong. Now I have an answer for my enemies; I rejoice because you rescued me. 2 No one is holy like the LORD! There is no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God. 1 Samuel 2:1-2

I have to admit, I could not remember who Hannah was; I had to look it up. She could not have any children by her husband, Elkanah. His other wife, Peninnah cruelly tormented Hannah. Now, Hannah and her husband went each year to Shiloh so they could worship God. One year she prayed she prayed, "Dear God, if You will only give me a son, I will give him back to You, to serve You all his days." God wasn’t about to deny such a woman who was this faithful to Him. A son was born to Hannah. She named him Samuel and he became a great king.

Being a mother is an important job. One, or so I’ve heard from my friends who are mothers, that is the toughest one in the world. I’ve never been a mother, but I remember all the things that mine did for me, even when I was a less-than-grateful child or adult. She taught me so much and while I did not agree with all her beliefs, I respected my mother for her love through my whole life – even until her last days on earth.

Here is a poem I’ve written about my Mother. I miss her so much. And to all you mothers reading this – I wish you a very Happy Mother’s Day.

Michelle Rose

In Praise of My Mother
Mary Frances Angelini
b. 7/4/1920 – d. 2/19/2000

I’m sure some days
you wondered who I was.
And you may have asked yourself,
Was I the daughter
that you carried for nine months?
Was I the baby that you so lovingly
raised to adulthood?

No, we didn’t always get along,
but there were times we laughed
and cried together over silly,
situations in our lives.

Mom, this poem is challenging
for me to write, since you can’t
read it. It’s difficult, too, since
you can’t see what kind of adult
I’ve become or whether I learned
any of the lessons you taught me.

Maybe your way of encouraging me
to succeed didn’t use the words
I wanted to hear, but you never
stopped believing in me.
.
I want you to know
I’ve become an adult
of whom you’d be proud.
I write poetry
I keep the precepts you taught me
I love plants and gardening
I remember the good times
when you were alive.

If I could say one thing to you now,
it would be that you did a good job
of raising me.
I hope you are proud
of the daughter you bore
and named because it sounded
musical. I hope that the angels
surround you with music that
pleases your ears.

Communication

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God's Blessings upon you, your families and furkids (if any).
Michelle Rose

Communication
April 4, 2011

I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face. Peace to you. The friends here send their greetings. Greet the friends there by name.
3 John 1:14 NIV

I often wonder what happened to conversations and letters between friends. For the most part now - I’ve fallen into this trap, too - much communication is done by email and texting, not speaking face-to-face or by phone. This morning I called my aunt and uncle in NJ. I had the most wonderful chat with my Uncle Angelo. We talked about what it was like back in the 40s (he knew more than I did about the early 40s) and how things were different when he served in the war. It was the longest conversation I had with him for a long time. Usually, I just ask to talk to my Aunt Nettie. I have friends where I live and although we’ve been friends for a long time, I usually hear from them only by a mass text message or email. I miss speaking to them. Ok, maybe they are having problems and don’t want to talk. But are we still friends? I was also thinking about when it was nice to get a card or letter in the mail; then came the technological revolution and now everything is done by email or texting (I’m not a big fan of the last, except for occasional ones). My two favorite ways of talking with someone I know are by phone or in person. I even bought some nice cards at Trader Joe’s to send out and they are still sitting here. This week, I’ll write these cards and mail them.

I think communication with Jesus is amazing. He’s never busy; never sends me text messages or email, and never turns away from me. The lines of communication and talking to God and my Saviour, Jesus are always open. I know it can’t always be like that in life, but it’s amazing to know that my God always has time to listen to me. He’s never going to be out of touch because of the technological revolution.

Phobias

Everyone has phobias - fear of something. I have them, although some I've conquered or grown out of.

These are fears that I've never had, since I love animals, cats/dogs, and poetry:
Ailurophobia- Fear of cats.
Elurophobia- Fear of cats. (Ailurophobia)
Felinophobia- Fear of cats. (Ailurophobia, Elurophobia, Galeophobia, Gatophobia)
Zoophobia- Fear of animals.
Metrophobia- Fear or hatred of poetry.

These fears I still have, for instance, I won't get a closed MRI, only an open one. And if a bus or train is too crowded, I'll wait for the next one.
Claustrophobia- Fear of confined spaces.
Stenophobia- Fear of narrow things or places.

These phobias, I had when I was younger. I was terrified of bees and wasps, since I'd been stung by wasps as a child. I've overcome my fear of both of them. I've also overcome my fear to dentists, but it's still not my favorite place to go. As far as darkness, when I was very young, my room in one of the houses we lived in was at the end of a dark hall. I was terrified to walk to it - I always ran, but now I find rooms with low or no light soothing, simply because I know God is always with me.
I'm not in school anymore, but I had an extremely high test anxiety - even when I was allowed to take tests in a quiet room away from the classes I took.
Apiphobia- Fear of bees.
Spheksophobia- Fear of wasps.
Dentophobia- Fear of dentists.
Lygophobia- Fear of darkness.
Achluophobia- Fear of darkness.
Myctophobia- Fear of darkness.
Testophobia- Fear of taking tests.

Ok, these I'm still working on. The fear of ridicule comes from many experiences as a child and an adult. I always fear gaining weight, but have a long way to go before I can stop fearing it - or I'm not sure I ever will. Fear of staying single - I move back and forth between being glad and feeling different because I am.
Anuptaphobia- Fear of staying single.
Katagelophobia- Fear of ridicule.
Obesophobia- Fear of gaining weight.(Pocrescophobia)

This has happened so many times, that I'm not sure I fear it or expect it.
Athazagoraphobia- Fear of being forgotten or ignored or forgetting.

This phobia is a new one, due to some recent experiences. I have a plan for what I'll do to stop the fear, but I still have to put it into action, so I'd rather not say what it is. Sometimes that's why I enjoy being alone with Sasha. She loves me just as I am (like God), no matter what I do.
Laliophobia or Lalophobia- Fear of speaking.

Guess this is just something I needed to get out...

Michelle Rose

Those %#%@#^#^ Annoying Email

Ok, walk along this fence to a place where chain email disappears. ;-)

photobucket image - bokeh

Ok, this is going to sound a little angry, but it's a "rant" I need to air.

I get them all the time, those email that say "Send this out to 20 people in the next 10 minutes and something amazing will happen to you." I have to scroll down past tons of addresses to see the actual message. Sometimes I send them on because I like the message and think my friends will enjoy them, too. But I've gotten a bit rebellious in not being guilted into sending them on or by forwarding them. I delete all the email addresses. Yes, it is a pain in the hiney to delete them, but I backspace to do it. And, when I send out an email to my friends, I hit reply and send it to one person in the "to" box and then blind copy the rest.

Often, I've deleted them, just because I get tired of the dire consequences they predict if I don't. OH LOOK! I'm still here. I don't mean to insult any of my friends who sends me these email, as I do enjoy them for the most part. Of course, I get in the habit of sending these annoying chain email, too, but I do my best not to make a constant practice of it. Also, I mention in the email I send, there's no stipulation for sending them on. And most times it's not the email content itself that I mind, but the "guilt" message it contains.

When I sent one to my friends, I only picked a few, and delete all the time limits and consequences of not sending the email to anyone else. I want my friends to enjoy what I send, knowing that I sent it to them because I care for them, not them sending the email to countless millions of people.

Well, I guess chain mail has been around for a long time. At least with email, it doesn't cost postage, like it once did. ;-)

Some Days...

just have the feeling that God has sent his angels to watch over me.

Photobucket.com image by loveej

just have the feeling that they are going to go right from the minute I open my eyes. Today was one of them. It's not that everything went right, but it had a smooth feeling to it. My landlord brought me over a new tv, a larger one than the one I had. All the people on the tv are the right color; they're not purple, green, or blue. I paid my phone bill, even though I had to pay an extra $5 because I had to do it with an agent. I dealth with DPSS (Dept. of Social Services) and I didn't get totally upset. I asked for further explanation when I didn't understand something and they were very patient and cleared my confusion. I didn't realize I had MediCal all this time, but I did. So now I just have to send in some paperwork once I receive it for my redetermination. Then I went out shopping and to a late lunch/early dinner.

I have learned to go with the flow, even when it's not exactly smooth. I have waited a very long time for my live to be like it is now and I wake up and go to bed grateful everyday for the God that loves me and blesses me as He does. How could I not believe in the Lord, when I see the miracles He showers me with? Even when things are challenging, He blesses me. Today is one of those days that I truly believe that God is good all the time, because even the pain I had yesterday is gone. Last night while I was watching tv, my cat, Sasha, was going beserk, playing with her catnip mouse. Suddenly my pain didn't appear so bad. God sent me laughter in the midst of my pain.

Michelle Rose

Going Beyond My "Borders"

Image from photobucket.com by marysiadat_2008

I usually don't like to go places that are too far from where I live, especially if I haven't been there before. That's not to say I don't do it. I did it today. I went to an AA meeting way out on the far end of the Sunset Strip. I heard a wonderful speaker and some terrific sharing. The ironic part was that the meeting was above a bar in a room where there was another bar. But, it felt so good to be in that room with other sober alcoholics.

The thing is, with the freedom I have in my life being sober, being a Christian, being creative, and more, I can break free of many of the borders, or more like "prison" walls, that were holding me back, always of my own making. I'm not sure what happened to change my fear. Secluding myself within the walls of my apartment became boring and the fear fed on itself as a continuing cycle.

I thank God for the personal and emotional freedom that I feel and can exercise. Even though I'm still not going all the places I plan to go because I still have a bit of fear holding me back, I've broken out of something that was extremely difficult to change.

Backing Up a Little

Image from Photobucket by Sheul12

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Today I was supposed to go to a poetry reading, but never made it. Why? I got too involved in being on my computer. Sometimes I don't like this infernal machine very much, but, of course, it's part of life - for work, communication, fun, and other jobs.

I remember the days without a computer. I did other things - went to the park, the zoo, or watched tv. On the days that I have to go out, I'm almost relieved that I won't be near my computer for a whole day. What a nice break. Yet, I'm grateful I have it.

Yes, these lessons are a bit backward and I could not figure out how to rearrange them. But, then again it really doesn't matter, does it. Everyone got to read this message on a means of communication that is supposed to make our lives simpler, but doesn't always.

Bless all of you today and enjoy this photo of one of God's amazing works, Northern Lights.

Michelle Rose

Children and Challenges

I tutor a very challenging 6th grader. He gets bored very easily, so in the past couple sessions, I've been challenging him more. We work on the lessons that I'm supposed to teach him, but I do it slightly differently. Here is where my creativity comes in handy. I've always been able to be spontaneous and ad lib in my stories and examples to my students. With this student, it helps so much because I can see him becoming more interested and wanting to work through the lesson.

I am not a parent, nor do I have children of my own, but I've learned from my other students what can awaken their interest and what makes them bored. Sometimes it takes a bit of searching to see how to get through to a student. I've had my "failures" in the past, but these are only lessons to me, helping me with new students.

If anyone had asked me when I was younger what I wanted to be when I got older, I would never have said a tutor. I wanted to work with animals, but I found out I didn't want to do that as a job, only as a volunteer. I love what I do and the challenge each new student presents to me as a tutor. Finding my niche in life was so important to me, but no matter how much I searched, I couldn't find one. When I stopped looking, God put me where He wanted me. Now, how amazing is that? I'd say quite amazing!

Asking and Caring

Photobucket Image by Speigel16

Have you ever asked that question that many people take for granted? Yes, the one for which we only expect a cursory answer. You know the one I mean? It rolls off our lips like winning coins coming out of a slot machine. The question is "How are you?"

Most of the time the answer is a one-word or less fly-by: "Fine," "Ok," "Lousy," or something of that nature. I have one online friend, who when I ask that question goes into great detail. Now, I know to expect this, but I'm also interested in how this friend really is doing at the moment. We've talked online and sometimes on the phone quite a number of times, so I know the situation.

I've often given detailed answers to this question, because sometimes a simple answer won't do and life (mine or anyone else's) can be complicated, rather than requiring a simple answer. If I didn't care about how my friends are, I wouldn't ask. Fortunately, I mostly have the time to listen to this friend and we can discuss what's happening in both our lives in detail. Maybe we can't help solve any situations at the time, but sometimes just talking things out and having someone listen helps.

I know when I was going through the challenging times where nothing appeared simple, I was very grateful for those who listened to me. I was also grateful they encouraged me to adopt a positive attitude no matter what events I was experiencing. Maybe friends will get tired of hearing you talk about the same thing if it goes on for too long (well, some aren't like this), but one sure thing is that God never tires of listening to us. And, He not only listens, He makes a way where there is none. How do I know this is true? Because it happens in my life over and over again.

So, next time you (or I) ask someone "How are you?" be prepared for an honest answer.