Taking a Step Backwards

Lessons from Life, Monday March 9, 2009

Taking a Step Backwards

Hope I

the church’s leaded windows
stained glass
tilted upward for the breeze
air out the words
Jesus heals all
~Maureen Glaude, In Memoriam, Canadian poet, from Wordchimes.com~

I read these words today and they soothed me just as Maureen’s poetry always does. She was a special lady who took life as it came, grasping it with both hands. Many people loved Maureen in real life, online, in the poetry and Christian worlds. When cancer took this special lady, all who knew her whether personally or online felt a tremendous void in their lives.

I posted this today in my lesson, because I took a big step back in my thinking. Way back to a very dark and hurting place. I have come so far in facing challenges, yet certain things scare me into hysterical non-thinking, wanting easy solutions to problems. For a while, I forgot the Lord and forgot to ask His help, allowing my emotions to take over. Someone I contacted helped me resolve this challenge, although I must take two more actions to complete it – a letter and a phone call.

I ask these questions of the type of thinking that I slipped into today. Why do I think that my Lord can only handle some problems and not others? Why do I allow myself to become separated from Him, getting to the point of becoming so hysterical that I can’t take a breath? Why do I think that He only loves me in some situations and not others? I know none of this is true. Jesus has healed me in so many ways. And, in this situation – dealing with government agencies and my SSDI – He will guide me through the situation as well.

My gratitude today is how much patience God has with this imperfect person – me; more than I have with myself.

Cradled in the Arms of my Saviour, Michelle Rose