Haste

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Haste

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” ~Lao Tzu~

“Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.”
~St Francis de Sales~

I want(ed) everything quickly – to grow up, to get thin, to meet someone to share my life, to make money… etc… Life doesn’t happen that way. When I picked out the first quote, I thought about flowers blooming. I see their beauty revealed as the blossoms open slowly. Right now, my haste is that I want to conquer this eating disorder immediately and it isn’t happening that way.

I overcome one part of the addiction, only to replace it with something equally as annoying or harmful. Yet, I know all the while change happens and my life improves. Just this week, I even had a victory over the extreme pain I had by doing something illogical. I stopped all pain meds. Maybe I think I will find some magic key and the eating disorder will disappear – POOF! Nope, it’s not going to happen that way. It will take every ounce of energy and hard work I can put into my recovery – the hardest of the ones I have. Face it, food is a necessity and tastes good. This isn’t an addiction I can put behind me like alcohol, drugs, inappropriate sex, or smoking.

All I can do is be patient and work to conquer this eating disorder with my focus on the Lord always. My day goes much better when I keep my focus on the Lord. How awesome!

Michelle Rose